They’ll conclude that you’re a feminist when you tell them that boys should know how to cook and to do other house chores.
Being a feminist is not bad in itself. People take feminism to mean different things. But most times, people see any woman who calls herself a feminist as evil. We hold wrong perceptions about certain things because we do not have enough information about them. We assume because we do not have enough fact. Well, feminism is not what we are talking about today . What we are saying today is this: a boy should know how to cook and do other house chores.
Many times, I wonder why some years after marriage, the wife’s face looks more aged than that of the husband, despite the fact that the husband is older in age than the wife. This could however be as a result of many things, But one pressing thing that could cause this is stress.
At this juncture, I think I need to bring you in a little bit into my family. To us, cooking is not by gender, but perhaps, by age.
I remember vividly when I was in junior school, my immediate elder brother was in senior school then and my elder sister and first eldest brother were in the University. My immediate elder brother was used to doing the cooking. Especially, lunch. Mum made breakfast most of the time.
We had five cousins staying with us then, three paternal cousins (boys), and two maternal cousins (girls). The three boys were so young, still in primary school while the girls were a little older. My brother prepared Amala (a Nigerian food made with yam flour) for every one of us. Fortunately, our parents don’t eat that type. Theirs is Kelu (Nigerian food made with plantain flour) so he had to prepare our own meals and that of our parents separately. He did this until I was old enough to handle his chores. Whenever my eldest siblings were around, we made a total of eleven in the family and I always prepared the meal.
When I finished secondary school, I became the house-cook. I prepared food for our parents and ours too. But guess what? My dad cooks so well! If you have the opportunity to taste any food that my dad prepares, you’ll always find a way to come to our place mainly because of it. Surprisingly, my dad cooks even till this moment, not that mummy don’t cook. She does.
Another quite unusual thin im my home is the fact that my dad never allows my mum to wash his clothes for him. If he cannot wash it himself, he’ll give it one of the kids to wash for him. Since I was young and now that I’m grown, I have never seen mummy washing dad’s clothes. It has never happened and as a matter of fact, it can never happen!
In some families, they treat their male children like they are not to be taught cooking and doing other house chores. And that is why you will see some parents saying it is understandable if it’s a male child that does not know how to cook, since somebody will do it for him when he’s grown and married. This only means he wants to marry a slave and not a wife.
Parents should endeavor to train their up their children in the same way. Enjoy this short play.
Demola: Mum, I’m back. (sits down on the cushion, takes off his shoes there in the living room, put off his uniform and drops it on the arm chair.)
Mum: Demola dear, welcome. Your sister is preparing the meal for the family. It would be ready in few minutes, you can go and play with your friends for now. When she’s done, I’ll call out for you.
(Tunmise finishes cooking and comes out of the kitchen to see Demola’s stuff lying in the parlor)
Tunmise: Demola! Demola! Demola!
Mum: Ah ah Tunmise, why are you screaming his name that way?
Tunmise: Mummy, you need to see how Demola scattered all his stuff in the living room. The place I took pain to take care…
Mum: Ehn ehn, ati ki tun wa ni? (And then, what else?) That is why you are the elder sister. Your work is to pick it for him, and make sure that the house is always kept clean.
Mum: shhh. Do what I’ve said, and immediately…
I believe that the next day Demola will repeat the same thing and the sister too will continue picking it… this behavior will become his habit and when he gets married, He will surely repeat the same thing and his wife would be wondering what she had done wrong to deserve that treatment… why can’t she tell Demola to pick up his stuff and put them in the right place and join the sister in the kitchen to ease the stress and make the cooking faster?
That is exactly the way some parent train their boys to make their wives a slave. Children are children, boys and girls are children. I am not saying a man should be the cook, neither am I saying the wife should be the cook. I believe you know what I’m talking about.
What we see as mere chores should not be done by a single person all the time. Chores are demanding and stressing out. You don’t wanna leave your wife in the kitchen preparing the meal and expect her to come clean the baby that pooed on his/her body, at the same time to do the dishes, wash your clothes, hers and the children’s own, sweep the floor and the likes and you are sitting with your legs crossed asking when dinner would be served. You don’t even think about rendering any help. That character is just as bad as it looks.
The bottom line of this is: Train your boys and girls to be responsible for themselves.