Notion of My Betterment

When my blood was freezing in the fear of demonic wrath,
and depression collided with my delicate soul
pirouetting every atom of my entity,
I was tattered like a strangulated furniture.
Only the darkness prevailed in front of my scared eyes,
I couldn’t shriek but silent sobs melted my inner will.
I was only twenty, at the verge of changing this world
with my sheeny mind and unwritten letters.
Depression choked my throat, closing my nostrils to prevent me from inhaling the positivity,
anxiety bursted out in laughter, bobbling around my tiny soul and cajoling me to burn my bosom in the fire of befuddled future,
and panic attacks were benevolent enough to strike me
with the gentle torture of suicidal awakenings.
Devastation was a mere word as what I grabbed brought apocalypse crushed in between the chambers of my heart
slowly nibbling each part with the sharp beak of horrendous dreams.
Everything fell apart, collapsed like sand castles;
Laughter exchanged with the chronic numbness,
happiness with the sheer panics,
and study sessions with the sessions of the therapist.
I was so stuck that there was place to breathe,
and even after I hugged my therapist for four times
drenching her kurtis with warm tears, my father for at least ten times until he could feel my broken heartbeats
and my mother for several times to feel satiated,
I couldn’t no way counteract the emptiness from my life.
I etch a graveyard of my memories and buried them
as soon as they started eating my brain.
A dark ocean of chasm galloping along my body, gobbled me in a blink of eyes.
A scattered me shaped like scrambled egg,
brushed away with a storm.
But dark times too leave a leaf of possibility,
just like one blissful day I touched my skin with my eyes closed and it lingered the hymn of hope to my ears.
I stopped dwindling like a reckless swing,
and saw a tint of hopeful urge prancing around my blurry vision,
it said, “Wake up, wake up, wake up from the devilish sleep.”
From then, there was no stopping,
My phone calls to my therapist now sang the lullabies of improvement, the hymn of exhilaration and the ramification of change.
My blood vessels were now immunized enough to bring a revolution against the tyranny of mystifying mental health.
Traumas left my skin, panics unclenched my soul,
anxiety escaped my mind and depression released my body.
My dark stories smudged away whereas I rang the bell of an initiation; an initiation of new hope, light and love.
I filled my diary with the story of my battle,
which has no sign of fear, fury or frivolousness
and embedded the pages with the stars of healing.
I embraced the life as life startled me with the new ways of enchantment,
and forgave the aches that led me to my perpetual betterment.

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