Okezie, my love,
My heart bleeds; truly it does, because I know that you don’t deserve this pain, this torture that I am putting you through. But believe me, it’s for the best.
Why do I think this is the best option? Because I can’t stand it any more; I can’t stand the accusing eyes, neither can I stand the hurtful words being thrown at us for… for following our hearts. They said that what we have between us is an abomination, but tell me, why does it feel so right? Why does it feel like if I end up with someone else, I’ll be committing a great sin, not just to our love, but to nature itself?
Do you remember the first we felt the electricity between us? We were preparing dinner that night, and your hand had mistakenly brushed my taut nipples while you were reaching for the plate to dish out papa’s food? I’d gasped out, not as a result of shock, but as a result of the indescribable pleasure that coursed through me, which settled in a pool of heat between my legs.
You had been as shocked too; and as I looked down at your briefs, I’d noticed the yearning bulge, which threatened to break free. My left hand had had a mind of its own: it had touched you, and as you moaned out a cry of ecstasy, you held me by the waist and crashed your lips onto mine.
That was our first kiss—stolen in the kitchen while our parents awaited their dinner. It took the shout of papa for his food to bring us out of our kissing paradise. I’d been the one to take the food to them, because you were in no condition to go out there.
Later that night, you had crept into my room, into my waiting arms. And as our parents snored off, we made passionate love over and over again, till we were left breathless. You weren’t my first sex, yes, but that night felt like my first time. You unlocked secret caves of pleasure I never knew existed in my body.
After that night, we were inseparable; and although you were two years younger than me, I knew that I would lose my life before I would ever live without you.
But at some point, the doubts came. You became worried and started feeling guilty about what we were doing. You called it a sin—incest. You said that it was against the Bible, that God would punish us. Tell me, do we choose the people we call in love with? If it was a sin like you said, why didn’t God prevent us from falling madly in love with each other?
Do you still remember how we researched about our “cursed love”? I think Google should give us an award for the most searches in a month. We scoured the Internet, looking for a way to explain our situation. But you remember what we found, right? Especially in the Bible.
It was you who reminded me that almost all the important people of God married their relatives, and God blessed their union. So why not us, right?
So we became more bold and fearless. Oftentimes we would make love in the parlour when our parents went out. Till the day they caught us. It was I who forgot to lock the door, right?
Truth be told, my heart stopped beating the moment father walked in on us, and saw you with your head in-between my legs that were spread wide apart. His cold fury told us that we were doomed.
I don’t know about you, but I never believed that we were possessed by any demon, and I certainly didn’t feel anything within me or anything leave me as the pastor prayed for me, pushing me many times so that I would fall. It was all a farce to me. But to pacify them, we apologized, pleading for mercy and promising to never indulge in such devilish acts again.
They had separated us then; they sent you to the NDA, and I was sent to a nursing school. Little did they know that we met with ourselves every time we could and had wild and passionate sex all the time.
So why did you decide to stop it all of a sudden because of a random girl you met? You couldn’t have imagined the dagger of pain that you drove into my heart as you pronounced your love for me dead, and our six-year love affair over.
If you can remember, the second day we had sex after our first night, I’d told you that I would never allow anything come between us. I meant it, nothing can come between us—not even you. That was why I drove the knife into your back as you turned to leave, the same knife you’d used to peel oranges for me. I love you too much to see you out of my life.
And there’s no way I can allow my child, our child, to grow up without a father. Yes, I just found out that I am pregnant for you. I wanted to tell you before you slammed me with the news of your infidelity.
Well, since I can’t live without you, I guess there’s only one fate for me, right? I really hope we will have a good life over there, whether heaven or hell. Something tells me that we will be alright. After all, love conquers all.
P.S: The first two paragraphs is to confuse our parents should they see this note. See you, my love.