“I want my own love, my own happily ever after,” Bamike sighed. She turned to face her friend Laura: what is missing? What’s wrong with me? When will I have my own earth-shattering love? she asked with misty eyes.
Laura smiled and pulled her friend into a hug, petting her back in the way a mother does when she finish feeding her baby. “Bam Bam,” Laura said.
“Yes,” Bamike replied slowly, gripping her friend’s waist firmly.
“You need to be in a relationship baby.”
“Whaat!” Bamike’s head perked up and Laura’s hand hung in motion. “Lolo I have being in several, I mean plenty relationships. I just need one… one real love, Lolo.” She placed her head back.
Laura continued petting her. “Will you listen to me, Bami?” she asked gently.
“Uh-huh,” Bamike voiced.
“You need to be in a relationship with yourself first. Tell me, who has ever seen the girl behind Bamike Jacobs?”
Bamike stirred up and moved to a sleeping position with her head on Laura’s lap. She crossed her hands over her chest and said, “What do you mean by that?”
Laura knew this stance well and was prepared to drag down every single wall, till all that was left was sunshine on a fertile ground. She adjusted Bamike’s head on her lap to sit comfortably.
“When we were in secondary school, I used to think it was because you were young and didn’t want to do anything stupid, but as we grew I saw less and less of any lovely relationship around you. I mean we (you and I) survived because I’m your ‘beta’. Both girls laughed. “I have watched you shut people out, both genders! You tantalize them with your alluring presence and once their intent is on you, you shut down completely. It’s like watching different clips with the same result, Bami.”
Laura wiped a lone tear from Bamike’s cheek. “What about Noah?” Bamike asked.
“Oh dear, I think we both know Noah’s victorious defeat was what put a blip on your wall. He would have made it though, and that’s what got me thinking, Bamike.” She lifted Bamike up and made her face her. “You don’t know how to love. It has not been given freely to you, so you can’t give it out freely.”
“But I love you Laura,” Bamike burst out.
Holding her hands, Laura said, “Yes you do, Bami. You love so fiercely, I feel your love for me but you don’t know how to love unconditionally. You take love as a chase game and it’s not your fault; but to have the love you seek, the purest form of love, you must be willing to let go of how you were conditioned to love and learn how to love again. Because what you don’t have, you can’t give. Bami, to enjoy this love you seek you must be willing to reciprocate. That’s why I said that you must be in love with yourself first.” She pulled her into a hug as Bamike shook with tears. “I know baby,” Laura crooned, “we all have what we lack but we need love to give and take. I’m going to be with you all through as always. We will redeem your lost love because you are worth it.”