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Interview with the New Guy in Town (Mr Corona)

He coughed several times while sitting on a chair; his two friends who had accompanied him were wearing pure white clothes with a big grin on their face. Mr Corona kept on flashing his yellowish teeth to the flashing lights of the camera as he crossed his leg and adjusted his cap.

Interviewer (with face covered with mask and hand sanitizer carefully kept on the table): It’s a pleasure having you with us, Mr Corona. This is a live session.

Mr Corona (waves his hand to the camera): Hello Africans, it’s pleasure having you sit in your parlours watching this session.

Interviewer: What would you say regarding the coming of Chinese doctors to help Nigeria combat you?

Mr Corona (laughs): Fifteen medical doctors for God sake? In a country with more than 200 million people? Do you know that black people are evicted from their houses in China and are been discriminated? Or don’t you think USA, UK and Italy would need these doctors the most? Your country have failed to salute it’s own heroes. Is it the Chinese doctors that helped in the recovery of your people? Appreciate the little that you have.

Interviewer: Okay. What would you say regarding the claim of a pastor that says you’ll be leaving Nigeria by 24th March?

Mr Corona (sips his coffee and adjusts his chair): Today is 20th April.

Interviewer: Oga sir, how far about the donations of materials made by Jack Ma?

Mr Corona: Be careful of the people you accept gifts from. That’s how they gave you Bible and they snatched your lands.

Interviewer (washes his hands with the sanitizer and dries it using his handkerchief): There are comments coming from the West and its allies on how you’ll deal with Africans massively. Any comments from you?

Mr Corona: Let them manage their own death rate first. Or have they heard any African country or citizen threatening them? Pray for a good omen.

Interviewer: Sir, what’s your relationship with 5G?

Mr Corona: This guy you don mad oo, make I infect you ni? Which kind question be this ? If I catch pesin no be hospital you dey take am ? Or no be doctor dey treat am? Wetin concern virus and radiation?

Interviewer: What’s your relationship like with the poor Nigerians?

Mr Corona (starts sobbing): Poor Nigerians have suffered a lot from the hands of their selfish leaders, so I don’t have any beef with them. Before I landed here, they were already suffering. So I no go add another suffering to them.

Interviewer: Do you have any comment regarding the vaccine trial suggested by French doctors, that it should be carried out in Africa?

Mr Corona: Shey I told you? Your leaders are good for nothing. Imagine an African doctor saying this to France?

Interviewer: When do you intend to leave Nigeria?

Mr Corona (points at his two friends who are snoring due to the cool breeze blown by the AC): Mr Lassa and Mr Ebola have asked me to leave soonest, so worry not.

Interviewer: Thank you Honorable Coro Coro, what’s your last message to the viewers?

Mr Corona: Stay home and stay safe. Oya dab.

And to the Nigerian leaders… wallahi judgement day is real. Don’t even try stealing the donations. Good bye.

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