They say, time lost can never be recovered. But then I’ve gone out in search of it. When I find it, I’ll use the time to tell you how hard it is to live without you. I’m finding it hard already and it’s barely a month, what about a year? I miss your beautiful lies that sometimes I miss the bond we had. But then when I remember the disrespect I go out out at night, lie down, look up in the sky, hoping I’ll find a pattern that would lead me to you for answers.
Each time I end up asking myself: how did I fall in love with you? When was the last time I made you laugh? When did I ask for more? When you’re dealing with fire and the fire is getting worse, what’s the easiest thing to do? What if you never loved me? I assume you also have questions. I hope time brings us back together for answers.
They say, sometimes distance is the only way to find peace. What a lie. When I decided to leave the world we created, maybe, just maybe you had left already, our love story—ended, well I ended it. I found chaos. And I thought: how was peace going to be at peace with the distance?
I was bruised, what about you? When we left the world us “we” created it—deserted. I can’t imagine the distance we both have covered. I was always the loyal one, the committed one while you injected me with pain. Do you know how it feels like when you’re injected with pain? You’re lucky pain is like a loan and no matter what you do, you can’t pay it back.
They say, love can move worlds. I bet it’s true. I was the pillar of our world. Every single day we met, you pushed me and suddenly I was down. I saw nothing but darkness. You still glowed—attracting. That’s why you said, “I don’t chase, I attract.” I just fell in love with words you borrowed.
You still attract me. Every single day, I’m down here trying to ignite the love I have for you. Sometimes I cry, but tears won’t roll down my cheek. Sometimes I think of the memories we shared, but they keep fading away. Sometimes I try to get hold of your scent, but the wind keeps blowing it away. I love you despite all your doings. I have the last magic bullet with me. For you to fall in love with me again I need to know whether you changed your firewall? I’ve been trying for days now, but the bullets kept re-bounding. I got hit severally, lost a lot of blood. I might die. If you get to read this let me know.