“Dear do you miss me?”
That’s the voice in your head mocking you of the fact that you survived.
He’s the jester, a clown making fun of you.
The previous night, you had tried to commit suicide.
You wanted to kill yourself and end it all.
You couldn’t take the pain any longer. You couldn’t take the deafening loneliness again.
Your family has rejected you because you chose to elope with the love of your life.
You had dropped out of school, became an enemy to your friends who tried to reason with you.
You had believed that you were making the right choice, the right decision.
That was years back, now he has left you for another.
You are more lonely and heartbroken now than when you had chosen him above your family and friends.
You would have crumbled now only that you were empty.
Every night you wet your pillows with your salty tears. You blame yourself countless times, you ask yourself questions, wondering how and where you had gone wrong.
But how could you have been wrong? You had given him everything you have; your money your love and your body.
Seven years of relationship with four abortions that almost cost your life all gone down the drain just for nothing.
Your spirit and refused to accept that truth, the fact that he dumped you and married another.
You are shattered and scattered.
You have no family to go back to.
You have no friends to talk to.
You were still a stranger in an alien land.
Then your silence and bitterness has given birth to him. The voice in your head which was more of a jester than a companion.
Each night he sits inside your head telling you to end it all.
Last night you have finally succumbed.
You had taken some stuff to end it all.
You had been lucky a colleague had come by to check on you.
He has been the one checking on you ever since your hearttrob left you.
He kept asking for a chance to love you again but your heart was bottled up.
It’s always and can only belong to one man.
You colleague had rushed you to the hospital you found yourself now.
“Dear do you miss me? It’s time to end it,” he had said to you.
The man inside your head was back again.
“Take out the drip and bleed to death, There was no reason to keep living,” he told you.
From where you lay, you looked at your hand, with one snap, you pulled at the needle on your wrist.
You watched the blood rush out staining the white bed sheet as it flowed unto the floor.
Soon you could see life ebbing out of you.
You could hear his laughter in your head.
“Soon, you will join me,” he said.
Suddenly you are scared, you wanted to stop it, to stop yourself, but you can’t because now, your body was weak and you were losing consciousness.
“Come to me baby,” he said in your head again. Suddenly you remembered Chris, your colleague he had been there always, showering you with all the love, attention and more.
it’s been six months already yet you’ve refused to move on and Chris had always been there, always.
Maybe you could have given him a chance. You tried to scream but no word came out of you. Suddenly the door opened and a man and lady on white came in with Chris, you watch them run to your side.
You saw the nurse trying frantically to save you. Chris was by your side, he was crying. For the first time in your life a man cried for you. He must have really loved you, you thought.
The nurse and the doctor were trying everything possible to keep you alive but you knew you were going away. You tried to fight it but you knew it was too late.
“Stay with me,” Chris said. “I will always be there for you,” he promised.
“Come with me,” the man in your head said.
Suddenly you couldn’t see anything anymore, you couldn’t even feel pain again, it was all over.
“She’s dead,” you saw the doctor saying.
“No! You can’t die,” you screamed realizing for the first time that you could see them all not just hearing their voices but they weren’t seeing the new you, who stood feet away from them.
You watched the nurse covering you with a white cloth. Chris was truly crying now by your side.
“No!” you screamed again. “You can’t die, it’s not your time yet,” you screamed just before the man who was no longer inside your head began to drag you away. You tried to see his face but it was blurred. “Let’s go home, baby,” you heard him say with a snigger as he dragged you away with him.
“Dear do you miss me?”