Africans are best known for their amazing cultures, multi tribal nature and languages. They have their regards for the cultural practices on a very high level.
Despite all these, they usually conform to stereotypes. It is true that not every African behaves the way they are expected of; in fact it would be false to say that everyone is exactly the same. But this does not dispute the fact that many Africans are not diluted with these acts of socialization.
Africans have this love for money; in everything they do, money is usually considered. This is to say that in Africa, to talk about “love,” money must be inclusive. An African man is expected to prove his love with money, the number of cars he can get for his woman, probably how much a diamond ring costs and weighs on her finger.
This condition can feel good, in fact, it feels all good, but it can knot young men into constant difficulties. In a bid to prove their love or masculinity, they go as far as cyber crime (yahoo) or armed robbery, all in a bid to impress one woman. But this would also mean that men are no longer loved for who they are but what they have.
At about the African woman? Most times her prowess lies in her ability to prepare a meal, do home chores, if she is caring or can pretend to be caring, if she can please everyone (his friends and her in-laws), and of course, if she has to be likeable. She ends up working too hard.
But what if it ends up to be the wrong person, she forgets she has dreams to chase and spends all her time trying to impress a man who might end up not marrying her.
The funny thing is that on the side of men, if love was or is all about money, it would mean that bad behavior is permitted as well as abuse, unfaithfulness and the like. So many men are more like, “Women want money, all they need is money, the second thing she wants is more money.”
This is sad in a way that is funny, and it becomes a constant joke. Of course women differ; there are women whose preference lies in kind, well-trained, godly, social, nerd, beard gang men, and many others. This does not change the fact that there are women who make their choices of partners considering the sizes of man’s pocket. Oh yes, a man can choose to avoid them or go for them, there are millions of women in the world waiting.
And on the side of men, most times they do not really know what they want (according to studies); some do and some do not. They might just see a post on the media that boldly says: “fat girls are bae.” And boom, they decide that fat girls would also suit them. But love happens and choices and protocols change. She might turn out to be a skinny lady.
Most times people shove their choices on the choice space of others. You hear statements like: “Men like…”
“Oh, but men don’t like…”
“They love it this way…”
And while these are might be truthful statements, they become phrases that any thinking or unthinking person would decide fix their choices on. You hear some people say, “Men don’t like it when women talk too much.” But of course, humans differ. Just as you like coke or orange juice, there is definitely someone out there who loves coffee or cake, and choices should rather be respected.
But so many women waste all of their time trying to figure out what men want, and they end up twisting themselves into shapes, pretending to be who they aren’t. They forget that there are millions and billions of men who can appreciate their body size and condition .
To sum it up, “I love you” in Africa is stereotyped. It is only the mentally liberated people who can break this shackle regarding how to show that they care for someone. They can love freely, happily, having in mind that there can never be pretence when they’re with this one unique person.
Freedom is very important. Do not also be misguided, lovers should be bent on building each other. As lovers there should be cut-out benefits; it could be gifts, money, words of advice and these can in fact not be limited to one gender, a man or woman can take the responsibility of giving.
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