Broken

“I am Moses. You don’t need to know my surname, it is actually not necessary.” I was drinking the vodka from my wine glass.

“What do you want from me? Why won’t you let me go? “She was shouting.

“You should be happy nothing has happened to you yet.” I got up from the chair I was sitting on to the pillar she was tied to. “And I am surprised that I have not touched you. You know what…?” I was running my fingers on her cheeks already. She was really beautiful but I don’t want to go through it again.

“What? What are you going to do?” she asked.

“It isn’t what I am going to do, it is what I could have done to you but your case is so different from the others.” I left where she was and sat down again.

“I would have fucked you. I would have tied a belt round your neck. I can possibly beat you up like a slave and then spank you like a whore until you die.” My fists were clenched I could feel my veins trying to come out of my hands.

“I don’t know why I can’t!” I roared and kicked the bottle of vodka, making it break into pieces as it smash against the wall.

“I don’t want to go through it again. I don’t want any woman in my life but you… you just keep pushing and pushing. And I hate it.”

I smashed the wine glass on the ground. She was already crying because of the way I was acting. It was clear that she was scared of me. When I moved closer to her to touch her, she was trembling at my touch. You need to stop this act, my heart kept saying. I moved back to go into my house then she stopped me.

“Can I ask what happened?”

“What?” I turned to look at her.

“You are so wounded tell me what happened??”

I thought she was scared? Why is she asking me this?

“Don’t get me wrong, I am more than scared, but just tell me what happened. I could be of help,” she said in-between sobs. Her eyes followed me back to my chair as I sit down, debating whether to tell her or not. Would she understand me?

“I will do my best to understand, just talk to me.” She was so reassuring with the face she was putting on now.

“Five years ago, there was this girl, Joan. She was so beautiful, more beautiful more than you.” I looked at her from head to toe, knowing that I was lying to myself. “She went out one night after a little argument we had and never came back even after two days. I went to her house to apologize even though I knew I wasn’t at fault. I got there and saw her with my twin brother. She was naked with him on bed and she didn’t even show remorse. Instead she began running those fingers on his chest.” I was already crying like a baby whilst telling her. “Those hands were supposed to be on my body not his. My brother on the other hand began touching her again right in front of me. They were aware that I was there. I couldn’t watch so I just left and went home in agony. When I called her back so we could talk things out and I would give her a second chance, she told me I was stupid and lame, that she never loved me. That I was always bringing bad luck to her.

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Five years ago…

“Really, you think I am no good?”

“Yes, you are. Nothing good comes out of you. I wonder why I am wasting my time with you. Just know it is over between us. Don’t call me, don’t even text me,” she ranted and left my house, banging the door. What kind of a girl is she? She drives me mad and I still love her. I began staring at myself in the mirror on the wall. My eyes were red, I was going to break down in tears, but some sort of spirit entered into me, turning my sadness turned into real anger and hate.

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Present day…

That was what triggered my hate for women. I decided to bring bad luck to every woman who I had an attraction to, and vice versa. I am broken, girl, I am so broken. I can’t be fixed.” My shirt was soaked with tears already. She was left in awe with her teary eyes.

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