Just yesterday, I was going through the pages of my life, feeling the blood flow from my veins—hot, moist and raw. Like a purple hibiscus that had lost it’s colouration, I desired expressly to fly, fly in the sliver deep blue sky and return into the firmament that rested upon my fathers head. I got to the page four of my life, where I became stone cold, this was where my journey in a vague circle began.
It wasn’t too long ago Dada was poured slippery into the careless earth, and like a child receiving the touchings of motherhood he began to grow. However, things began to be around my bent neck. Don’t get me wrong, I tried to live as peaceful as a bee. But at the end, I stung everyone, everything. Actually, I wasn’t the type that eyes the world from an angle, but here I was trying to figure out where it all started.
Yeah! Guess I can remember, that day when his Dad came back home and said he was no longer interested in me, my daydreams and my seductive cries. I thought it was a joke. He did that often and nought, but just that this time his eyes were a mixture of red paints with some yellowish spot. I left him till he would be calm, but he never was. It dawned on me that when a lion decides to roar what it meant to things, either he was defeated just like Jerry or he was victorious. I laughed away the threat never thinking that I would become a single mother in my hay days!
Just like a deer wounded by a lion’s bite, I felt what it was like to taste the paradox of life. I felt my teeth became like blade and my muscles became like the trunk of an iroko tree. I waited, my arms seasoned with love that would tender an apology for a crime I didn’t commit.
I waited in vain. Jerry never returned after his last threat in our house. I felt hot, the wind of life I could hear it’s sound, coming to my side telling me everything was over. I never imagined myself being a widow while my husband was still alive. We had the resources, the love, everything, but I don’t know what else that I don’t have that he sought for. He wasn’t the type that would go out for too long and come back exploding with fumes of alcoholic stench, he wasn’t like Labaja our neighbor who was caught just last month dancing to nature’s sweet rhythm on a woman, what else did he want?