First time I saw my mother’s face,
I knew I had seen her before
Countless times if my memory proves me right
Countless times have I seen her cry over my prone body…
First time I saw the Nkissi
Memories of swimming across it and playing with other children vividly flashed through my mind
“Have I been to this water before?” I asked my mother
And the look she gave me told stories of how many times she has watched people bring home my prone wet body…
I remember being fascinated by the dancing flame of the hurricane lamp that help us fight the darkest of all night
And the first time I raised my dimpled palms to grasp the flame that danced within it, my mother screamed
And then I saw her scar and other scars that told stories of a previous encounter with fire
And then I recalled the countless times her face shrouded by smoke cried over my prone burnt body…
I have been here before,
For how long I stayed, I have no idea
For how long I will stay this time around, I have no clue
All I know is that I remember all these faces from the last time…
How many mothers have cried at my grave?
How many have I taught how to love and then broke their heart by walking away?
How many forevers have I promised and how many times have I tried fixing eternity into a minute?
All I know is that I have felt like this before…
And if I walk away once more
Will I ever return?
Will hell ever give me the opportunity to return and wreak lives and break hearts again?
All I know is that the end is not too far away…
I have been here before and I have lived well
I have seen you before and I loved you so deeply
And I will return again to make you laugh once more…