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Bleeding Heart

“I don’t want you in my life anymore. This whole relationship between us was a total mistake. You are simply worthless!”

The words came out of his mouth, cold and tinged with anger. As I watched him storm out of the apartment, my heart surged up to my throat and plummeted down. My eyes widened in amazement. I struggled to contain the tears that threatened to leak out of the corners of my eyes. I fiercely admonised myself, “Don’t cry!” I grabbed a handkerchief from the table that stood in front of me and wiped the tears out of my eyes. I had cried enough tears to sink a ship. I drew closer to a sofa and sunk into it, my legs seemed too weak to hold me up. My heart bled endlessly. The apartment suddenly became dark and my head twirled. For once, in a long time, I felt alone and isolated.

His words kept on reverberating. The suffocating sense of loss was overwhelming and tried to destroy me. I felt nothing but twinge somewhere deep in my heart.

Richard was a man who made my youthful heart flutter. I had made a vow not to fall in love until after college. But when he came into my life, he breached all the defenses I had constructed against invaders, I was totally drunk in love. It felt like I was under a spell which I totally enjoyed. With him in my life, my fantasies were endless. I would always picture us with our future kids.

And in a twinkle of an eye, we came to the end of the road. He left so fast that he created a ripple in my still heart. He was like a storm that swept through my heart and shattered it into bits that can never be put back together even with the most powerful glue. I was crippled with grief at the thought of it all. I had nothing but war inside me. I had battled with tears for so long that strength seemed to have left me, and the tears and pains finally won and took over me.

“You will be fine,” a little voice whispered at the edges of my consciousness.

I listened to the soothing voice and quieted my mind. That night, I managed to fall asleep. At the crack of dawn, I made a resolution to burn all my bridges so as not to have any reason to return. I picked up all my belongings and left, wishing and praying that peace would once more descend on my world.

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