Poetry

The Problem is Me

I’m thinking,
What happened?
Why did I do it?
What led me to do it?
The same questions replayed
Over and over again in my head
I can’t seem to find an answer

Who would say I was not happy
With her?
Of course I was
Who would say I didn’t love her?
Of course I did
There seem to be a maybe
Maybe the problem was me
Maybe I did not trust myself as much
As I trusted her
I tried to resist
But it was stronger
I was living in confusion
Fear was my friend
Doubts was my neighbour
Fear of getting caught
Doubting if she will ever
Catch me in the act
Confused, why am I cheating on
My wife.
My wife,
She gave me everything
She showed me the best of her best
She loved me wholeheartedly
She chose to spend every minute
Of her life with me
Till death do us apart
Yet, I cheated
I feel like I injured her
And I only can heal the wound
One thing I still don’t
Understand
Why did I cheat?
Was the temptation that great
For me not to resist
I feel pity for myself
It’s one great mistake
Wronging the one that loves you
That knows you’re not perfect
But still chose to be with you
Thinking she can frame you to be close to perfect
I have to change myself
Or else
My heart will not only be torn into two
My life will be ruined because of
A temptation of pleasure
Now I have made my decision
I’m living in the present
I’m thinking of the the future present
I won’t dwell in the past present
My mistake won’t judge
But change me
I say bye to the temptation of
Pleasure
A desire that won’t last long
I hope that sooner but not later
I will be able to tell her my woman
My wrong deeds and hope
She forgives me.

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