An Uncommon Discussion

What if a human could interact with the forces of nature? Well, here's what I imagined...

Human: Rain, you do know that you've overstayed your welcome right? I mean, 2018 is almost done.

Rain: Have I? Don't you get it, Human? Without me, your stores will be empty. I am the most important element for the growth of what you all consume.

Sun: Hello? I'm here, remember?

Rain: Yes. I see you're here, so?

Sun: Well, I was responding to your claim. I really hope that you know that without me to clear up your mess, the earth would have been in ruins.

Rain: Well, whatever.

Wind: Hahaha. So, bottomline, you agree that you're a mess ehn, Uncle Rain? I'm shocked.

Human: Errrm... Speaking of mess, Rain, why exactly do you end up destroying things? 300 Chickens were killed yesterday in Delta State. Today, a flood swept a car away and crashed into a house killing a man and his wife. Did you have to do all those to prove that you are the head of all natural elements?

Wind: Rain is not the head!

Sun: Well, neither are you!

Rain: Can you guys at least allow me reply the question?

Wind & Sun: Hmm🙄

Rain: Thank you. My friend, I really shouldn't be blamed for the destructions. Honestly, I don't intend hurting anyone but you humans have mastered the art of offending me.

Wind: And there he goes again! Guilt-tripping humans. Just admit that you're a stupid and uncaring fool who takes pride in seeing the destruction of human property.

Human: Please, mind your use of language.

Rain: Ok, wise one🙄

Human: I said mind your use of language!

Rain: Or what?

Moon: Errrm... Can you guys stop yelling at each other? My babies, the stars, are sleeping.

Human: Pardon my manners, Miss Moon. Rain, how low will I get just so we can have a sane discussion?

Rain: As low as your ability to comprehend simple sarcasm.

Wind & Sun: Wow. That touched a nerve (Sun)... Yeah, I felt it too (Wind).

Human: Well, I'll just apologize and hope we get on the same page. Can we now proceed?

Rain: Well, whatever. I just want you to know that no one can control me or the way I choose to speak. No one!



Wind: Errrm..... This silence is awkward though. Who knows the population of the rats in Mars?


Intense silence

Wind: Well... Since no one wants to talk, I guess I'd just talk to myself. Blah... blah... Blah... Yada, Yada, Yada...

Sun & Rain: Shhhhh... Can't you see we're trying to focus?

Wind: Focus on?

Sun: Look ahead.

Wind: Wow! Just look at that handsomeness...

Moon: Oh! He's coming towards us. I think I'm shivering...

Rain: I see him sometimes, after I'm done with my job. He's such a beautiful creature.

Sun: I think he should be referred to as HRH.

Rain: His Royal Highness?

Sun: Nah... His Royal Handsomeness. HRH, You dig? Haha

Wind: (Yawns) Funny.

Rainbow: Hello friends.

Moon: Oh my God! His voice is deep.

Rainbow: I was bored over there and I thought I should come over. It's a privilege to meet you. My name is Rainbow.

Moon: It's a privilege to meet you too Mis... Ter... Rain... Bow...

Rain: It's not.

Wind: C'mon be nice.

Rainbow: I think he's actually correct. I'm just another element of nature.

Moon:... And he's humble!

Sun: Control yourself, Moon!

A star: Mom, when are we going out?

Moon: Soon dear, Uncle Sun is still in charge.

Rain: So, why did you come over?

Sun: He said he was bored. Lord!

Rainbow: Ah... Yes! That reminds me. Have you guys heard about the new law that prohibits the use of improper words no matter how subtle?

Sun & Wind & Moon & Human: (Stare at rain)

Rain: Ermm... By who?

Rainbow: The one who orchestrates our actions.

Sun: My actions?

Rainbow: Yes.

Moon:.... And mine?

Rainbow: Yes.

Wind:... And mine?

Rainbow: Yes... And mine... And every other living thing.

Rain & Moon & Sun & Human: Wow! (Rain): Who?

Rainbow: God.

This story was written by Toyosi Oni. You can reach him through:

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